i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
