I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
