Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
