I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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