This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
