dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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