He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
