Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
