in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize