there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
