If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
