im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
