YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
