i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
