i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
