i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
