Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize