why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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