Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The air was thick with penises
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
