Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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