Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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