if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
