Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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