I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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