Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
