In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
