he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
