i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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