Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
