The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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