yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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