Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize