watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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