I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
