I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
