3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
