Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
