He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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