I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Randomize
