Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
