Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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