Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
