I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
