yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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