I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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