At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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