ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
