I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize