lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize