If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
