This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
