She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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