Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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