you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
