i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When are your genitals available?
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