Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
