He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
