Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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