# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
