Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize