mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
