i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
