I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
