she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
